Craving a house

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I’m craving a house.

I’ve been craving one since the day I left high school. I often lose track of time caught up in a day dream about how simple yet elegant it will be…the decor details of every wall and corner…in. every. room. It’s not just a house but the place I will wholeheartedly call home❤️

My house will be my soul mate.

Disappointment, defeat and despair

“when you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat and despair are tools God uses to show us the way.”

“Strange tools, -They often dissuade people from carrying on.”

I hope to carry on :)…and I hope you too will carry on

Human connections

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The worst mistake we can make (or do make) is to try to impress each other with what we have when who we are is worth much more. Personally, I appreciate people’s aspirations and find them necessary. But I want YOU first before all the clutter

Psychology: The Wim Hof Method

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“Since time began for us, we humans would emerge from our cave in survival mode, crossing the plains on high alert, on the lookout for sabre-tooth tigers or woolly mammoths. We’d hunt our next meal and return to the fire, food and safety, triggering our calm once again -our parasympathetic nervous system. Modern times find us constantly on high alert, to every email, news cycle, fear and concern, held hostage by our sympathetic nervous system for longer periods than before. We have overlooked the physiological and neurobiological need for downtime, hence the rapid rise of the idea of mindfulness.”

“A surprising number of students (grades 4-11) are asking for tips and tools to assist with daily pressures, anxiety, and depression.”

I cannot begin to process how a child who is only in grade 4 has to deal with pressures leading to anxiety and depression. All in the name of what? The digital age, information overload and a fast pace world? One thing for sure is we cannot run or hide from it…or can we? One option is to educate ourselves on how to adjust our minds to deal with it all. I am always *consciously or un-* on the lookout for ways to improve my life experience. Flipping through an airplane magazine, I bumped into an article about a man who: “Many decades ago, while grappling with personal challenges, would go looking for answers in nature. One day he plunged himself into icy water and felt transformed”.

This meant that he enhanced his resilience under extreme conditions. He used techniques that allowed him to explore his physical and mental capacity which resulted in his ability to influence his autonomic nervous system (including parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system). In his approach there is interaction of three main components i.e. exposure to the cold, breathing techniques and mind-set or concentration. The training of the mind-set component allows for the realisation of inner strength while the breathing component is obviously linked to oxygen intake and the amount of oxygen that we inhale influences the amount of energy that is released into the cells in our body thereby affecting the chemical and physiological processes.

The extreme cold, particularly cold baths, has in the past been associated with physical healing. The science behind cold shock suggests that it stimulates a process that reduces the number of inflammatory proteins in the bloodstream. There are some few researchers who have taken to evaluating the science of this method but my vested interest is in whether or not it would work for me and I’m most curious as to how and/or how long it would take my body to associate cold shock as carrying healing as I have through my own experience found that my body only associates heat (especially hot water: hot showers, hot water bottles, hot beverages) to healing but again if the water, particularly bathwater, is too hot my body quickly spirals into a state of vertigo.

The constant need for healing, especially in the midst of endless modern-day pressures, makes this an idea worth spreading. Have you tried it? How has it worked for you?

Let’s talk: What in the Marriage?

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“I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

These vows sound great, doable…what one should want to be to and for a spouse.

So what in the marriage goes wrong?

The usual ups and downs are granted but why do people divorce? Do we ask ourselves why we get married? 

Is it possible that other marriages failed because it was their marriage but based on other people’s terms or expectations…generally very other-centred? I have never been in a marriage but think it wise to set your own Terms of Marriage. Writing your own vows would be a good start… that way you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Not so? and other dynamics for consideration? *comments welcome*

Psychology: Mind Matters- Minding the mind

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The study (scientific study) of behaviour and mental processes is currently referred to as Psychology. Bear in mind that a field of study is a science if it uses the scientific method in acquiring knowledge. Tracing back the development of psychology, it became distinct from philosophy when scholars began to apply the scientific method when studying behaviour and mental processes. The accumulation of research findings led to speciality areas, some of which are listed below.

  • Clinical psychology
  • Counselling psychology
  • Developmental psychology
  • Educational psychology
  • Experimental psychology
  • Forensic psychology
  • Industrial or organisational psychology
  • Physiological psychology (also referred to as biological or neuro- psychology)
  • School psychology
  • Social psychology

My first speciality area of interest is counselling psychology which is a form of clinical psychology that deals with the assessment, diagnosis, causes and treatment of mental disorders. Counselling psychology is a practise that aims to provide therapy to patients with the goal of improving their life experiences. At this point, I am of the view that counselling psychology is linked to all other speciality areas.

Going forward, with this #MindMattersSeries I hope to inspire someone to get busy getting to the heart of the issue…whatever it is.

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New under the Sun

There is nothing new under the Sun.

We are as a conveyer belt recycling life experiences *where have I said this before?*

So if I will write a book, nothing there will be as a unicorn.

All the books I will ever want to read have been written.

All the thoughts I will ever think have poured out of lips or danced on paper.

Under the Sun? Nothing here is new but You.

 

Millennials: We were sold dreams

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When I started writing this, the idea was “keep it very short and simple”…but then I got to thinking. It isn’t just millennials to whom society sold dreams. The sale of dreams is still a prevalent placebo that is being administered to the youngest generations. I would rather we say to the younger generations, “Go to school. Pass your matric well enough to qualify for university and once in varsity dedicate yourself to your studies so as to attain a qualification which MIGHT allow you the opportunity of a corner office at a well paying job”.

Because look at us now…millions of qualified (MScs and PhDs), depressed and unemployed youth. All because Society told us time and again, “Go to school. Work hard *smart* to pass your matric so you can qualify for university. Dedicate yourself to your studies so you can get a qualification, then a job, then a car and a house on the hill”. And work damn hard we did. Yet here we are…in a society that was not designed for so many young qualified people, maybe even purposefully so.

And so we are asking, “What about us? What about all the times you said you had the answers? What about all the broken happy ever afters? What about all the plans that ended in disaster?” because we were promised all these things our whole lives and we were going to do great. But here we are with our fancy degrees in a country where the job atmosphere is so thin *South Africa (in 2019) is arguably the country with the highest unemployment rate at 27.6%. 55.2% youth unemployment, 31% of whom are graduates*. We are interns who gladly *because it’s opportunity. exposure. we are exercising gratitude* perform professional duties on a domestic worker’s wage. We are still persevering…soldiering on…willing ourselves to believe that nothing we ever did was in vain.

And now they say to us *their faces beaming (but we’ve seen those faces before)*, “Become entrepreneurs”. Wait, what?! As the saying goes, history repeats itself…because this is the same as:

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First of all, not all of us have the entrepreneurial gene *education itself was never a one size fits all*. I for one would appreciate if they would go easy on shoving entrepreneurship down our millennial throats when we can barely keep our heads above the water trying to wrap our heads around the predicament we have suddenly found ourselves in. We are at best, and EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, trying to make lemonade out of these planet sized lemons. Never were we prepared for the worst. so we are, I believe, doing the best we can. We are a problem trying to solve itself.

Dear Society

Stop selling young people dreams

Yours truly,

Qualified, unemployed, distressed, lemonade out of lemons making youth

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